Womens Thoughts

Empty nest syndrome does not necessarily affect every mother and father with the departure of the first child.  Let me assure you that if you are not feeling bereft about your teenager going off to University, you will not be alone!  

When my first child went off to University to study for a degree, I shed a tear or two as we pulled away from the Halls of Residence and that was it. I did not go home and sit in her empty bedroom and feel bereft.

That following week as I stood outside school waiting for my other two children, I felt a little guilty as I listened to other mothers bemoaning the fact that their babies had gone.

What was wrong with me?  

Actually nothing!

The truth is that we are all different. Our kids are all different and we deal with things in our own way. Many women find themselves looking after their families with their OH away from home mid week, as I had done. My first born was ready to move on and I was ready for her to go. It seemed natural to me that as a young adult, she should leave the family home and start carving her own path. Our home like many others was not always peace and tranquillity. Sibling rivalry was very evident, not to mention pushing boundaries, determination and the desire to be heard. I had been a mother for 18 years and at times worn to a frazzle looking after three children.  

With little “me time” one less child in the house can make a huge difference to that. Less washing, cleaning and cooking. Yes, think of the joys! With less sibling refereeing to do, relationship councelling (i.e., boyfriends/girlfriends), homework nagging, life must surely be a little easier.

With my second child off and away at Uni, I started to think life was a doddle. Then came the empty nest feelings! Not enough to keep me busy during the day. Not enough to give me self satisfaction. My career had been my children and I was now feeling redundant! There are only so many charity lunches and shopping days that a woman can do. So I began my quest for happiness!

My advice if you are feeling this way is to find something to do as suggested in the Empty Nest article. However, there are plenty more ideas not covered there. Volunteering can bring rewards and there are so many organisations that need unpaid help. Hospitals, schools, charities, Citizens Advice Bureau. To name but a few. Some voluntary positions will give you training and experience that you would be able to use in employment or other parts of life.  

Then there are activities such as helping in your local area. Joining local groups and supporting them by being on a committee. Many people seemed terrified of joining such things but you can determine how much time you put into it and enjoy the satisfaction of “doing your bit.” 

Have you considered researching family history? It can be extremely time consuming but also interesting and a piece of work to share with other family members. Joining a Book Club or even starting your own?

My thoughts are that once you find something that floats your boat and you get engrossed, it is possible you will wonder how you ever had time to look after your kids!

Related articles:-

Empty Nest

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